Sunday, June 08, 2014

Tic Tac Toad and Red Ball Tripler: Your comment?

I'm not sure why it amuses me so much to see the Texas Lottery Commission publish rules for new lottery games in the Texas Register (May 30) for public comment, but it does. See:
I wonder if anyone ever makes comments like: "These odds suck!"? Or, "Why should I play if you're just going to dock the money for my child support?" Or, "Please stop telling people to give me lottery tickets at Christmas"?

Use Grits' comments to suggest other objections or comments people might make to the producers of new Texas Lottery games. If they're specific to these games, all the better. Alternatively, suggest criminal-justice themed names for Texas Lottery games. Be creative, people, give those lottery folks some options.


Anonymous said...

How about a game called Pot Power where the pitch is every ticket purchased is a vote for legal pot.

doran said...

Okay, Here is my contribution. I've given this a lot of thought, probably a minute and a half or so. The recent rains, combined with the warm weather, have turned my garden and yard into a mosquito hatchery. Probably true in a lot of CenTex places.

So, how about a scratch lottery based on a mosquito meme?

This one would be outside the usual approach, in that winnings would almost always be had, but small winnings. Rather than the big time stuff, have a lot, I mean thousands, of 20 or 30 dollar winnings. So that when you scratch a mosquito bite on the lottery card, you have a really good chance to get something for it other than a rash.

I can tell right now that I may not pass the "are you a robot" test. I can't distinguish the letter or numbers, they are so vague and blurry. Grits, do something about your gate keepers.

okay, robot test No. 2. Are you kidding??? Its one of those 3-d optical things. C'mon

doran said...

Hey, it worked.

Anonymous said...

Cops & Robbers

Scratch and reveal three Badges to win a cash Reward. Revealing a masked robber image automatically deducts a percentage of the reward.

Don't Mess with Texas.

Scratch and reveal three trash cans to win. In order to buy a Lotto you have to turn in a dud card. Keeps the non-winning cards off the streets. That's all I Got.

Anonymous said...

Police Lotto: Good Cop/Bad Cop

12 rotating options to scratch, all images of cops.

2 are good cops, your case is solved. You get paid. High stakes, high payout.

8 cops are just regular cops. Your case goes on a pile somewhere in the bowels of bureaucracy and remains unsolved. Better luck next time.

2 are bad cops. You lose. Scratching off one of these activates a RFID in the lottery ticket and police officers (or coming soon: drones? robots?) show up with lights and sirens blaring to issue an actual, physical beating to the ticketholder, leaving behind nothing but a week's worth of bruises and a Class C ticket for public intoxication, whether or not you've been drinking.

This might require an interlocal agreement with various local law enforcement to administer the beatings. There are still details to work out. Would put some pizzazz back into the lottery, though. :)

Thomas R. Griffith said...

Okay, I have a shitload more but this is it, I promise. Grits, thanks for allowing us to play.

The Texas TapOut -

Scratch & reveal three of the same Criminal Justice System Trial Court Dispositions images and win the cash prize (ex: Scales of Justice). Scratch & reveal an image of a wimpy, greasy looking lawyer with "Hi, I'M A FAKE CDL" on his name tag and you lose.

The Hokey Pokey -

Scratch & reveal three left feet or three right feet (wearing the identifiable name / brand of the boot manufacturer that wins the opportunity to sponsor the scratch off. Corporate Brand & Product Placement Sponsor-ships. Revealing a bare foot = you lose.

Elephants vs. Donkeys -

Three in row, wins you the right to collect the cash prize but you have to apply the tattoo located on the back to your forehead in order to collect. Sometimes it's an Elephant. Sometimes it's a Donkey. Most of the time it's a jab at gangsters in denial that, vote just to be voting.


Three of a kind GUILTY VERDICTS reveals your mandatory community service requiring a supervisor to sign off on your good deeds done on behalf of others assignment being required prior to collecting cash prize. Revealing a NOT GUILTY VERDICT anywhere on the ticket allows for instant prize collection.

JJ said...

Tequila Counsel: scratch off game where a winning ticket consists of a scale of justice, a steering wheel, and a tequila bottle. Winner gets automatic nomination to public office by the party of his/her choice. Available only in Travis County.

Cartel Envy: scratch off game game where the winning ticket consists of three or more US BATF assault rifles. Bonus multiplier of X 10 if anyone is held accountable. Winning ticket holder gets to fabricate the latest Border War hype statement.

JJ said...

Got another one...

Flaming Mansions: scratch off game consisting of a Molotov cocktail, running shoes, and a video camera symbol. Winner gets $10,000 a month from state treasury for life and a stern finger-shake by the Texas Rangers.