tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post2524496846419757515..comments2024-03-25T20:06:39.794-05:00Comments on Grits for Breakfast: Can you think of eleven different felonies you could commit with an oyster?Gritsforbreakfasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10152152869466958902noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-8792702985752001912012-09-06T22:03:05.062-05:002012-09-06T22:03:05.062-05:00""Illegal oyster distribution" is a...""Illegal oyster distribution" is a felony?"<br /><br />Damn, I once managed an oyster bar and gave away several dozen on the half shell. Twenty years ago so I hope the statute of limitations has expired.CraigOnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-10593772042034736732007-09-02T01:08:00.000-05:002007-09-02T01:08:00.000-05:00Eating oysters from outside the Gulf Coast is a cr...Eating oysters from outside the Gulf Coast is a crime in my book.oysterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05834991774263046373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-17680988846813974052007-08-18T13:22:00.000-05:002007-08-18T13:22:00.000-05:00Reminds me of the famous incident, where a man dre...Reminds me of the famous incident, where a man dressed as Ronald McDonald wearing an IRA shirt was arrested for selling oysters at a porn shop.The Wordsmithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13944722000864604382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-1145465316181160362007-08-18T08:22:00.000-05:002007-08-18T08:22:00.000-05:00If there's anything I can do to help these poor in...If there's anything I can do to help these poor innocents, please contact me at <BR/>The New England Home for <I>Battered Shellfish</I>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-31277388231472490432007-08-17T19:34:00.000-05:002007-08-17T19:34:00.000-05:00uh oh! that was probably a felony stuffin an oyste...uh oh! that was probably a felony stuffin an oyster like thatAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-36350285527666328702007-08-17T19:32:00.000-05:002007-08-17T19:32:00.000-05:00OK, true confession. When Forrest Forrest Gump cam...OK, true confession. When Forrest Forrest Gump came out, I researched shrimp to see if I could find some other then the long list that Forrest Forrest spouted. In the process, I came across research and articles on other salt water critters and it was all downhill from there; down under; on the half shell. So now you know that I really do know stuff even though no stuff can beat an oyster stuffing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-7772126908613934022007-08-17T19:10:00.000-05:002007-08-17T19:10:00.000-05:00shucks! if i shuck my oysters in bed, it might req...shucks! if i shuck my oysters in bed, it might require some kind of registration or at least a paddlin. BTW, grits, my brother always said I seemed to only remember the weird stuff...like the eskimo fishing song. Still mentally away and enjoying every minute.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the chortle, folks. What a great way to enter the weekend!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-30186470588933031302007-08-17T17:52:00.000-05:002007-08-17T17:52:00.000-05:00Using an oyster shell as a highly deadly shureken....Using an oyster shell as a highly deadly shureken....That's a paddlin. Eating oysters after Labor Day.....That's a paddlin. Paddlin through an oyster bed....Oh you better belive thats a paddlin.Jeremiahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06185978052184110877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-20026738562781168322007-08-17T16:23:00.000-05:002007-08-17T16:23:00.000-05:00I hope the servers can handle your fark - that's w...I hope the servers can handle your fark - that's where I first saw it. I posted on another link in your blog about this, but incase the masses miss it, I'll say it again ....<BR/><BR/> <I>Since I live in Texas, it seems that "everything I do is either illegal, immoral or fattening"</I>.<BR/><BR/> Love,<BR/> Anonynothing Whatever<BR/><BR/>P.S. That little saying is burned into a little wooden sign my grandmother gave to me (RIP Audie - 1900-1972) that I have hanging on my wall. I look at and laugh every day. But after I have read this (thanks for the enlightenment; I will try to keep my head out of my arse about these things now), it's sadly scary.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-6007497065174853302007-08-17T15:32:00.000-05:002007-08-17T15:32:00.000-05:00When I robbed a bank last year, an oyster drove my...When I robbed a bank last year, an oyster drove my getaway car.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-77126065112750759852007-08-17T14:10:00.000-05:002007-08-17T14:10:00.000-05:00Gritsforbreakfast said... Fark.com linked to this ...Gritsforbreakfast said... <BR/><BR/>Fark.com linked to this item and noted, hilariously, that of the 11 oyster-related crimes, none requires sex offender registration. <BR/><BR/><BR/> You just aren't trying hard enough.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-17531859387546439602007-08-17T13:12:00.000-05:002007-08-17T13:12:00.000-05:00how bout putting an oyster in a sock and beating s...how bout putting an oyster in a sock and beating someone half to death with it???Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-62448217864541765682007-08-17T13:07:00.000-05:002007-08-17T13:07:00.000-05:00Max, you kill me.Max, you kill me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-9217773629222202292007-08-17T12:36:00.000-05:002007-08-17T12:36:00.000-05:00Joe: What are you in for, Jim?Jim: Capital murder,...Joe: What are you in for, Jim?<BR/>Jim: Capital murder, you?<BR/>Joe: uh......oysters.Mr. Anxietyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07389296782748499778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-8190506247495823382007-08-17T12:35:00.000-05:002007-08-17T12:35:00.000-05:00exposing ones hairy oysters is a crimeexposing ones hairy oysters is a crimeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-19867802134427249972007-08-17T12:34:00.000-05:002007-08-17T12:34:00.000-05:00What about impersonating an oyster, and working be...What about impersonating an oyster, and working below the federal minimum wage for crustaceans?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-37020360462271905052007-08-17T11:43:00.000-05:002007-08-17T11:43:00.000-05:00Fark.com linked to this item and noted, hilariousl...Fark.com <A HREF="http://www.fark.com/" REL="nofollow">linked to this item</A> and noted, hilariously, that of the 11 oyster-related crimes, none requires sex offender registration. A <A HREF="http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3007481" REL="nofollow">commenter suggested</A> that sounded like a challenge!Gritsforbreakfasthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10152152869466958902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-18007272044458891722007-08-17T11:38:00.000-05:002007-08-17T11:38:00.000-05:00Hurling one at a Texas lawmaker?Hurling one at a Texas lawmaker?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-46294702200104023362007-08-17T10:06:00.000-05:002007-08-17T10:06:00.000-05:00Are there enhancement laws in place for felonious ...Are there enhancement laws in place for felonious oyster crimes within 1,000 feet of a school?Pamela Clifton and Christie Donnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10873286290200378185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-16339532990769064832007-08-17T09:00:00.000-05:002007-08-17T09:00:00.000-05:00I noticed this says " a crime committed with an oy...I noticed this says " a crime committed with an oyster", that changes things considerably . That says the oyster was an accomplice and in the State of Texas there is a law of parties . If you are anywhere near the perpetrator when he commits the crime , you get the same penalty , in other wordsif it is a capital offense the oyster could get fried !<BR/>It's time now to go where Nurit went, mentally away !Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-60864486894256184562007-08-17T07:42:00.000-05:002007-08-17T07:42:00.000-05:00Nurit, you just touched the tip of the ice berg he...Nurit, you just touched the tip of the ice berg here ! Fishing for oysters is actually "kidnapping". <BR/>Downloading pictures of nude oysters , agg. assault with a fishnet, exposing yourself to an underage oyster ( really bad!), serving alcohol to an underage oyster ( always check the oyster's age before you cook them in wine!). Should I go on ?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-36476306452228476262007-08-17T07:35:00.000-05:002007-08-17T07:35:00.000-05:00"Illegal oyster distribution" is a felony?No wonde..."Illegal oyster distribution" is a felony?<BR/><BR/>No wonder the stupid prisons are full.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-44275189494914083392007-08-17T06:18:00.000-05:002007-08-17T06:18:00.000-05:00It's really weird that you know that!It's really weird that you know that!Gritsforbreakfasthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10152152869466958902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-78901780738388129612007-08-17T06:13:00.000-05:002007-08-17T06:13:00.000-05:00that was "aware of" even though I'm mentally "away...that was "aware of" even though I'm mentally "away".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8597101.post-35642418346646603332007-08-17T06:12:00.000-05:002007-08-17T06:12:00.000-05:00Here are the few that I am away of: illegal oyste...Here are the few that I am away of: illegal oyster distribution, dredging for oysters in public at night, takng oysters from restricted areas, taking a cultured aquatic animal, selling a saltwater product without a license, theft of shells or seeds planted for the development of oyster beds, interfering with oyster bed markers, selling sport oysters, fishing for oysters without a licenseAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com