Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Parole board vacancy: Insert dildo joke here

(UPDATED) The full Texas Senate today will consider the nomination of Shanda Perkins, the anti-sex toy crusader from Burleson who Governor Perry has nominated to serve on the parole board despite having no apparent experience regarding criminal justice besides the effort to ban dildos from Johnson County. (I know, I know, it can't be done - they're indigenous.) The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals later overturned Texas' statutory sex toy ban.

Hard to know what to say about this that's not been said before, so see prior, related Grits posts:
Perkins says her role in the sex-toy prosecution was overblown and she only passed around copies of the law she thought should be enforced and tried to pass a resolution to ban short skirts worn by her nemesis, the dildo saleswoman, to local Chamber of Commerce events. (A commenter on another blog noted that we've heard this song before.)

Normally sex toys don't come up much in the nominations process so at least her appointment has provided some comic relief, but for those whose lives will be affected by Perkins' decisions, it's no laughing matter. There's a time and a place for everything, including dildo jokes, but you'd think an appointment to the parole board wouldn't be one of them.

UPDATE: Who'da thought? Mike Ward at the Austin Statesman says her nomination appears to be in trouble:

“She appears to be toast. Burned toast,” said one senator.

By several reports, the Senate’s 12 Democrats are lined up to not confirm Perkins’ nomination and two Republicans said privately the are among several GOPers who also oppose it.

MORE: I'd have never anticipated this:

The Texas Senate has blocked 1 of Gov. Rick Perry's nominees to serve on the state board of pardons and parole over concerns she is unqualified for the job.

The 27-4 vote Wednesday to send the nomination of Shanda Perkins of Burleson back to committee was a resounding bipartisan rejection of the former banker.


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15 comments:

  1. Dildos for All!5/13/2009 08:18:00 AM

    I'd guess her opposition to dildos is an anti-sodomy thing. She knows they could never get rid of all the assholes in Johnson County and you wouldn't want to combine the two.

    Also, they can take away my dildo when they pry it from my cold, dead hand (because I plan on using it right to the end). :-o

    Our Governor is an embarrassment.

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  2. FairPlay5/13/2009 08:56:00 AM

    However, not as good as the nomination hearings for Clarence Thomas. "Who put that pubic hair on my coke," comment alleged by Anita Hill.

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  3. Anonymous5/13/2009 09:34:00 AM

    This woman is not from Burnet. She's from Burleson.

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  4. Gritsforbreakfast5/13/2009 09:38:00 AM

    Good catch, 9:34. Fixed it in the text.

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  5. Anonymous5/13/2009 09:45:00 AM

    "Overblown" (giggle)

    BB

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  6. Anonymous5/13/2009 10:11:00 AM

    No, her opposition to dildos is a biblical thing. She and a good number of her cronies believe that it is against the will of god for women to retain/use manual stimulation devices. If you read into her background you will see that she is one of the fringe evangelicals that control the daily workings of the Burleson city proper.

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  7. Jacob5/13/2009 10:27:00 AM

    Rick Perry has absolutely, clearly lost his mind. Without question. How much more will Texas take. Perry in 2010?

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  8. Matt5/13/2009 10:37:00 AM

    How would you like to have your parole decision based on a vote by dildo lady? This is reason enough for forward thinking criminals to NOT do the crime. Maybe we'll see a reduction in crime with Shanda (I hate short skirts) Perkins on the BPP.

    This woman looks like something from the cover of the National Enquirer. Rick Perry should be proud.

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  9. Charlie O5/13/2009 12:11:00 PM

    Actually, having Shanda on the parole board may work out well for females up for parole. From what my wife tells me about the goings on at Gatesville units, Shanda may want to parole them all to put stop to all the ungodly things those hussies are doing to one another.

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  10. duaneh15/13/2009 12:40:00 PM

    Someone on Grit's earlier post said that if she's this tough on dildos then she will be really really tuff on sex offenders. So I say she should be appointed since we need to crack down on sex offenders instead of coddling them. Anyone who opposes her appointment must be in cahoots with the sex offenders. If you want to prove you are against sex offenders then you must support her nomination.

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  11. Jake5/13/2009 01:01:00 PM

    duaneh1 - We dont need the prisons to crack down on sex offenders, we need the courts to do there job. We have enough laws on the books noe regarding sex offenders.

    You should work for Governor Perry. You would make the perfect PERRY HACK!

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  12. Informed Citizen5/13/2009 02:00:00 PM

    Listening now to argument of Sen. Whitmire on the Senate Floor in opposition to Sandra Perkins nomination. Makes one wonder what was Gov Perry & staff thinking ???
    Apparantly she is a friend that needs a job. That's the only reason for her nomination. Sen. Corona supports Sen Whitmire's opposition motion.

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  13. duaneh15/13/2009 02:24:00 PM

    Jake, I was being facetious.

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  14. jake5/13/2009 03:26:00 PM

    Sorry Duneah1...I stand corrected. Anyway, it looks like it's back to dildos for Shanda, the Senate just said NO to her nomination.

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  15. Sex is Good7/09/2009 07:57:00 PM

    Goverment?

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