Ding, dong, the witch is dead.
Ashcroft resigned, the newspaper said.
Sure the next guy might be just as bad,
But just for a moment it's nice to feel glad.
Can't find the terrorists? Don't be forlorn
Bust medical pot and second rate porn.
Sing for the cameras, they really like that.
Wear a windbreaker and FBI hat.
We aren't any safer for all the commotion.
More prisoners in Club Fed than fish in the ocean.
Sure, Osama might just come back,
But until then Ashcroft said, bust blacks for crack.
So farewell John Ashcroft, and please rest assured.
Our nation fares worse given what she's endured.
The reward you deserve, I'm sure won't go down:
To be tarred and feathered and run out of town.
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